Her death gave me freedom. Funny, when we first met, and married, we had a satisfying sexual relationship. When she started having the affairs, I lived a life of celibacy, not wanting to be the one who stepped out on his spouse, so she could ask me for a divorce." Michael was my first lover, I was a virgin when we married. That was important to me, that I was able to give him that part of me, on our wedding night. I haven't been with another man either. I know that celibacy is not easy, the urges, the desires, don't just go away. They linger on, a sweet torture of what once was. Michael and I had a wonderful sex life. When we found I couldn't conceive, well, I was devastated. Michael was so loving and caring, he would have been a great dad." Just as you'd have been a wonderful mom," he told her gently. "Thanks, but I'm not so sure. My own childhood wasn't that great, and we learn how to parent, by the example of our own parents. I think it's a blessing now, that I didn't. The black swimsuit with the gray trim that she had worn during their original honeymoon still looked fantastic on her. (Well, it had only been three years.)Jared shook himself, turning away from her suddenly very arousing profile. Down boy. There will be plenty of time for that later. He looked out across the beach.Aside from a few families and some older people who seemed to just be out wandering around, most of the people on the beach at this time of the week were habitual offenders, the sorts of people that somehow gave the impression that they spent their entire lives on the beach.Standing between the boardwalk and the beach, Stacy and Jared were surrounded by a sea of skin. Even without a dense crowd, no matter what direction they looked, their eyes were met by glistening bronze bodies.It seemed kind of unfair to Jared. His pale northern complexion not only looked out of place--he looked downright unhealthy. His slightly soft belly, baggy trunks and gawking expression didn't.
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